Stolen Years

Don’t be fooled by the illusion presented to you, as reality, and the slavery given to you as freedom!
I know, I know my last few posts have been rather grim, reality is grim, and every time I come to the paper, I cannot help but express what my true thoughts are.
Truth is, I’ve just been thinking a lot guys, and the more I think the angrier I become!
Yes, I am angry! I’m tired of the bullshit, the lies, and the mindless sheep, the people who don’t question. The people who seem bent at maintaining the status quo.
Yes angry, and more than anything I am angry about the time that has been stolen from me; from us! Anger is the only sentiment I can feel at the moment, forced to conform to the ideals set by my predecessors.
Sure, the attempt at versatility may pay off to a certain degree in alleviating the burden thrown on our backs by society, but should it really be our burden to deal with?
I need to reiterate, I am royally pissed! I am pissed by the fact that the negligence of others has become a hinderance in my development. I am pissed that my goals seem to be obfuscated because of the flaw riddled society that I was born into. More than anything I am pissed by the fact that this poorly designed structure you deem a society doesn’t seem to be trending towards a more enlightened stance. On the contrary it seems more then ever on reversal if not on the brink of total collapse!
Enough of the flowery speech… of the appearance of balanced conservative intellectual approach that I seem to shelter myself in every time I sit in front of the paper to gather my thoughts for those who choose to read the words. Enough is enough!
I am saddened that my childhood didn’t turn out the way I envisioned it. Saddened that the most fundamental years of my development were stolen from me by religious zealotry. Perhaps I would be a completely different person had the variables of the equation differed. So many things fuel the flames of the anger that is raging inside of me, even rendering me unable to engage in honest dialog with my piers at times. This anger leading me down the path of isolation.
It wasn’t long before I came to the realization that life is fucking short, and at best trivial! The eye opening realization that I am going to cease to exist one day, and that most likely that day is not that long from now. In fact, I can sense it. The signals are everywhere, an ever present weakness, bodily aches, worsening vision, and weakening of cognitive functions. I think this is the reason I started writing to begin with. I needed to make sure that my words would exist once I no longer was here to share them. Worst of all, I wish I could say there were the good times, and the bad times, but unfortunately I cannot. The truth is most of the times were bad times, the good times are so minutiae I can barely recall them.
At most, I can say that in the short miserable time I spent on this sphere, only a few things brought me joy. The melodic sound of wind as it gently brushed through the leaves on a Autumn afternoon, or the tune of a song I can recall from my youth. Most probably illusions supplanted by the brain, false nostalgic sentiment, at best incorporated from the imagination of a child. You know like a smell, a taste, the shift of sunlight coming through the window for an instant at just the right angle; simple mind tricks of a time that never existed, perhaps supplanted imagery taken up by a movie I watched, and took in as one of my own memories. Childhood happiness so old perhaps it never happened at all… A rather empty thought, looking at it now in retrospective!
Maybe this is what happens when you become jaded to life, experiencing the pains of growing older, and realizing that most of the things you were told; alas were lies. Worst yet realizing that the bringers of these lies were either not knowledgable enough to see them for what they really were, or even worse that perhaps they knowingly deceived you. How unfortunate seeing these were the very people your evolutionary instincts mislead you into trusting. The realization that your parents in the end more than anyone else are looking out only for themselves.
Now in my solitude, I realize that i’ve been robbed. I’ve been robbed from the freedoms that we all inherently deserve. Writing these words, the paper looks back at me though as to say, “Who do you think you are to demand true knowledge, freedom, happiness?” The paper has its own mystical properties, always luring me to its side only to change my mind mid-thought; infuriating!
The paper shows me how selfish I am; greedy, unthoughtful, my flaws are revealed, and I must redact my complaint! How can I be so blind sighted that I raise my voice in contempt over the years that ignorance has stolen from me, while I benefit from the very mechanism that reaps the lives of billions elsewhere? I make myself sick…
I come up to you, seeking what, pity? Or worse vengeance?
Perhaps, my strife isn’t without merit, but even my situation is negligible in comparison to the individual trapped in insufferable conditions elsewhere who’s entire life is squandered in order for me to be able to preach my selfish victimhood.
Who am I to come to you sitting in my air conditioned room, with my cable television, and high speed internet? Who am I to complain about years stolen from me, as even now I squander away what others cannot even afford to pause from their labors to imagine? Who am I to toss ashes over my shoulders demanding penance for injustices committed against me when I have done nothing to mitigate the suffering of others?
Did I do anything to deserve the luxuries I partake in without second thought? Other than not drawing the shortest straw, I did nothing. In fact, my greed is the cause of someone else’s suffering! I have no right to demand anything! I steal the food and water from the cribs of the unborn, and less fortunate!
If anything the burden of helping others, the less fortunate is now upon me. Cursed paper, why must you flaunt me my errors, my lack of logic, and justice for all to see? I really don’t know how other people can come to the paper, and leave with the same thoughts they set out to share on it…
Either way, I hope that the remaining time I have in this existence I can use to lessen the suffering of those who are the weakest among us, both socially and mentally. Perhaps then I will find the happiness I so desperately search for.
We all must seek a way to undo the damage we have perpetrated. Even if you can’t afford to leave the creature comforts of your home nation, start by planting a tree, lowering your environmental footprint, and gathering others who are willing to make sacrifices alter the global society we now form part of. I exhort you!

***Quiero dar gracias a todos los que me lean el blog de España, Centro y Sur America... Veo sus views y pronto les dare artículos en Español.
**** Muito Obrigado a todos os meus leitores do Brasil!!! Eu ainda estou melhorando meu Português!


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